One of the most common sources of stress and anxiety is worrying about what others think of us. We may feel insecure, judged, or rejected by people who do not share our values, opinions, or preferences. We may also compare ourselves unfavorably to others and feel inadequate or inferior. This can affect our self-esteem, confidence, and happiness.
However, worrying about what others think is not only unproductive, but also unrealistic. We cannot control how others perceive us, nor can we please everyone all the time. In fact, most people are too busy with their own lives and problems to pay much attention to us. And even if they do, their opinions are based on their own biases, experiences, and perspectives, which may not reflect the truth or our intentions.
Signs that we care too much what others think
Uncontrolled situations are certainly possible. The difference between listening to our friends' worries and obsessing over every little thing people say about us.
Here are some warning signs that your mental health may be harmed by other people's opinions:
- You don’t set or maintain boundaries.
- You’re a perfectionist.
- You change yourself in response to criticism, regardless of what it is and who it comes from.
- You’re constantly apologizing, even when you did nothing wrong.
- You rarely say “no.”
- You let other people make decisions for you.
- You hold your tongue if your opinion differs from everyone else’s.
- Your peace of mind relies on approval from others.
Therefore, instead of worrying about what others think, we should focus on what we think of ourselves.
Here are some tips you can try to stop worrying about what others think.
Remember that people aren't that interested in you
People don't care about you as much as you might assume, according to a number of Quora users.
Sibell Loitz, for instance, asks readers to reflect on how much time they spend thinking about other people and their actions, and the answer is "not that much time."
Accept that people will have opinions of you
It is useless to try to shield yourself from all criticism; it is simply not possible. Whether favorable or unfavorable, judging others is a necessary component of social interaction.
Therefore, get ready for people to express their ideas in advance.
You can learn to let incoming criticism slide off your back by just reminding yourself that others will perceive you in some ways, even if those impressions aren't entirely accurate.
Remember that everybody makes mistakes
Expecting perfection is pointless because it is not achievable. More importantly, it is counterproductive, unfair, and wholly useless to judge someone for falling short of perfection.
Remember that everyone who criticizes you for making a few little errors has also made blunders.
Making mistakes at work or in relationships can also be a crucial component of personal development. Consider them as chances for growth and reminders of your humanity.
Surround yourself with accepting, supportive people
Your mental health might suffer greatly from having judgmental friends and family members. It hurts so much to learn that someone you care about thinks poorly of you.
Building relationships with people who accept you for who you are and who are willing to listen to you and talk it out with you, even if they can be a little "judgy" at times, is essential for maintaining mental health.
Develop your sense of self and build confidence
Building a strong identity can be facilitated by engaging in self-reflection. Spend some time asking yourself some challenging questions.
Who am I? What do I care about? What do I enjoy?
To provide yourself a solid foundation on which to base your life, it is equally crucial to develop a value system.
Although people may criticize your actions or ideas, if their judgment is based on your values, it is less likely to stick.
Focus on controlling your thoughts, not theirs
Gennaro Cuofano points out that you don't have control over others' thoughts: "Therefore if you spend even one minute of mental energy focusing on what others think of you, you are wasting time and energy."
Instead, he suggests trying to manage your own thoughts about the situation.
Consider therapy
You can increase your self-confidence and learn coping mechanisms for criticism by speaking with a therapist.
Particularly, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) aims to develop more beneficial ways of thinking.
You can discover new approaches to dealing with unhelpful criticism and letting go of needless stress through exercises and practice.
Don't try to please everyone
Remember that people will always judge you no matter what.
We should cultivate a positive self-image that is based on our own strengths, achievements, and values. We should also accept ourselves as we are, with our flaws and imperfections, and recognize that we are worthy of respect and love. We should not let others define us or dictate how we should live our lives.
By doing so, we will free ourselves from the burden of worrying about what others think and live more authentically and confidently. We will also attract people who appreciate us for who we are and support us in our goals and dreams. We will be happier and more fulfilled in our personal and professional lives.
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